On Self Worth...

Self Worth is simply the feeling of how we hold ourselves in our own eyes. It's another word for self-esteem. Do we think we are worthy enough to do a certain thing, buy a certain thing or be a certain someone?

Each of us has a Self Worth Equation. If I do this, I will feel better about myself, If  I win this employee of the month award, I will be a good Manager. If my kids are achievers, I am a great Mom.

My equation used to be something like this:

Now as you can see, the Problem with the above is, that it was impossible to have everything going for me all at once!

So even if one parameter wasn't working, my self worth plummeted. My self esteem or self worth was something that I always struggled with.

Don't get me wrong. I knew I was good. But I wanted to be more! And when I couldn't reach the impossible standards I held of myself, I was self critical. And then, like a parent denying a naughty child goodies, I told myself, that I didn't deserve that promotion, or I didn't deserve to look good, or that I didn't deserve some quiet time to myself.

I realized that I was not alone in feeling this way. Most women go through this every single day.

Surprisingly Men don't. Behavioural Sciences suggest that Men externalise Failure, and Women Internalise Failure.

What that simply means is that when faced with failure, men look to factors outside themselves to blame/attribute /correct. While women, you guessed it right, they look inwards. The blame is squarely on their shoulders.

In my own journey to being a Life Coach, I realized that Self Worth is the key to everything. And the more I worked on myself, I realized that I had to de-link my Self -Worth from every single parameter.

This is what my new equation became:

It wasn't easy, but I started working with Affirmations to internalize this new equation.

I am Worthy of all the love, riches and power in the world!
I am special JUST the way I am.
I deserve the BEST in life just by being Me!
I LOVE Myself JUST the way I am.

And Magically, All the things I used to run after, started coming to me. Once I accepted myself, and stopped proving myself to everyone, I felt liberated. My confidence soared, and I became a different person.

Even today, one of the first areas, I work with my clients is always Self-Worth. Read 5 simple tips to boost your self-esteem to know more.

I can't say that I am completely over my old equation. I have my days, especially many in the last nine months, when I wasn't working.

But I know how to get back. I know better to let myself be pulled down by my own impossible high standards.

So Dear Momtrepreneurs ,Mommies, and to every woman out there who is reading this,

YOU are WORTHY of everything just by being YOU.
Don't let anyone including you tell yourself otherwise.

YOU,  Stay-at-home Mom, don't need to earn money to prove your worth, or don't need to raise Einsteins to show how good you are. You can buy a designer bag, even if you don't go out and get the moolah yourself! YOU deserve it all just by being YOU!

And You, Momtrepreneur,Working Mom, and every woman out there...You don't have to be have it ALL to feel good about yourself. You are perfect just the way you are...You are a great Mom, and you don't have to work doubly hard at work to prove to yourself what a great achiever you are! YOU deserve it all just by being YOU!

And, If you are a husband, brother, father, male friend, male boss reading this blog, go to your sister, subordinate. wife, daughter, daughter-in-law and tell her that She is worthy of all the good things in life, just because she simply exists!

Lots of Love,

Momtrepreneur

Nine long months, a blog, and Stay-at-home Moms!

Nine most challenging months of my life! And you know by now, that I am not referring to the time that I delivered either of my boys!

Me , the Momtrepreneur was cruising along just fine. Progress at Swayam was slow, but steady. Arjun my second born was growing up just fine. And, into our lives dropped this opportunity of moving to Kuala Lumpur!

It signified all things new, experiences, challenges, and of course meeting and travelling. To me, it seemed like a big STOP  sign for Swayam Life Skills.

I resisted for a while, until I took a step back and looked at the BIG picture. I asked myself a few questions.

• Are there more opportunities than challenges in this move?
• Does a temporary break mean anything in a long career?
• Will Swayam feel betrayed if I ignore it for a while?
• Do I want access to an International Career?
• Can I use the time to spend and invest on my children?
• Will I learn and grow ?

I didn't have ALL the answers, but we decided to take a Leap of Faith. We were going to move! It would be fine, I could study, work. The possibilities were infinite.

13th November, 2013 we landed in Kuala Lumpur. Within a week, my husband started travelling for work.

And thus followed the longest, most challenging nine months of my life.

Not only was I adjusting to a foreign country, BUT I was making the transition from a Momtrepreneur to a Stay at home Mom!

I had to buckle up, and brush up my cooking skills, networking skills with other moms, parenting skills and much more. There was of course, no time for me, and NONE for Swayam Life Skills.

And yet, as I look back at those nine months, there isn't much I regret, Except maybe that I could have been a bit patient with my children.

This blog is a result of those 9 months, and I am happy and grateful for that. Swayam Life Skills is coming alive now that the children are slightly settled, and I am once again taking baby steps.

But there is ONE overwhelming feeling. Now I have seen both sides. The Working Mom, and The Stay-at-Home Mom.

When I was a working Mom, I used to think, Stay-at-home Moms have it so easy! While I have to juggle work and home, they can just stay home and take care of the kids.

Today, I have a newfound respect for Moms who put aside their personal ambitions and do this task 24X7.

And Oddly, I feel complete. I felt severely inadequate as a working Mom. I was always racked with guilt on not spending enough time with the kids, or at home. Today I have done both, and I feel a sense of accomplishment. Neither is easier, and neither is tougher. That has been the biggest realisation.

So, To all Working Moms, I can say, Enjoy your work while you have it. It is difficult to manage both fronts, but believe me, the grass isn't any greener on the Stay-at-home side!

To all Stay-at-home Moms, I RESPECT you, and IF you do want to get out there and work, it's not as difficult as you think it is. Trust me, If you can manage your kids 24X7, you can do anything!!

So there finishes my FIRST and most IMPORTANT post in the blog...Hope you enjoyed reading it..

Would love to hear your views/comments/experiences.....

Love,

Momtrepreneur...