A Mother's Guilt...

For as long as I have been a mom, guilt has been my companion.  When I worked full-time, I felt guilty for leaving my four month old baby at a day-care. When I came home early, I felt guilty for leaving my work.  

The years went by, but the guilt stayed. As I grew older and probably wiser, the intensity went down, and I knew how to handle it. But it never went away.

It resurfaced today, as I dropped my child off to day-care.  I am in the U.S where three year olds go to childcare and not a pre-school. Childcare is expensive, and primarily geared for working moms.

I don’t work (as of now), and I send my three year old to a child care centre. He spends the day there, and goes 5 days a week. This helps me stay sane, do my writing, focus on what I might want to do going forward, and just gives me some breathing space.

But today, as I dropped my son there, he cried. He didn’t want to go. I felt my heart break. That’s a familiar feeling for every mom. But my heart broke more, because, I wasn’t going to work after dropping him. I was going to go back home, go for a walk, and then do my writing.

I know all the reasons why I do so, and my family supports me. But still it stung. I felt incredibly selfish. My head screamed that getting a job would make this worthwhile. But then, I realized, this vicious circle has no end.

Whenever guilt rears its ugly head, I find solace and advice in Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean in. She urges women to lean in, and not look at child care expenses as merely an expense. It is an investment in yourself. It is a seed that you sow, to reap benefits in the future. And those benefits could be a job, your own venture or just a calmer, better you, which makes you a better parent.

With guilt comes a choice, to be consumed by it, or to be energized by it…

Consumed by the blame that it lays, OR energized by the possibilities that exist ahead…

With guilt comes a choice; Are you holding back or do you lean in?

Hold back on all your dreams, OR lean in towards your life’s purpose….

I have spent a lot of time leaning away from all that I truly wanted to do. It’s time to lean in. 

And You?

Interviews with Momtrepreneurs- The Artist behind- Indian Ocean by Shailly

Keeping in tandem with the theme of this blog, I am pleased to kick off a series of interviews with momtrepreneurs. Each month, this blog will feature a woman just like you and me, who is doing a balancing act of managing her own venture and her family. I do hope you enjoy reading and getting inspired from these wonderful women. If you are a momtrepreneur and would like to be featured on this blog, write in at momtrepreneurishere@gmail.com and I would be happy to interview you!

“Art is a creative process, but it’s more about problem solving!” 

This is just one of the interesting nuggets; one gets in a chat with Shailly Gupta- our featured Momtrepreneur for this month.

An MBA turned artist turned creative traveller, is what I would like to call her, but she doesn’t get caught in the labels. She just enjoys her journey too much to get bogged down in the details of what she does.

I first met Shailly, when she attended my Meditation circle. I didn’t have the chance to talk to her at length then, but was later intrigued by her Facebook page- Indian Ocean. She is an artist, and I fell in love with her clutches /purses that were inspired by her own wearable art. That’s when I decided to go down to her studio, and take a closer look at her designs.

I loved her contemporary take on art, and the fact that she didn’t take herself seriously. She loved what she did, and that was that.

She calls this her secondlife.com. Her first avatar was in the corporate world in the field of MBA and Marketing.

The path hasn’t been easy. Her quest for learning art appreciation led her to paint, and the rest as they say is history! She overcame many obstacles such as language barriers in classes, spending the whole day in hot studios, and the fact that her institute wasn’t even ready to give her a certificate.

Read on to know more about her, as we chat with this creative Momtrepreneur, about her life, art, and her journey.

When someone asks you, so what do you do? What are you most likely to say?

I am most likely to say that I have fun. I am busy trying to keep myself busy. It’s only if the conversation gets longer that I say, “Oh by the way I paint and have this small studio where I am trying to experiment with some other stuff too!”

Is there a story behind the name of your venture (Indian Ocean by Shailly)? If yes, please share

I wanted to have a name that represented colour, earth, nature (geography is my favourite subject).

I researched, toyed with some names, took feedback from friends but I was not in love with them.

Then somehow Indian Ocean came along and I just stuck to it. I didn't even ask anybody. It made total sense to me. It had geography, it had India, it was international enough, it was grand and it had all shades of Blue- my favourite colour.

How long were you a stay at home mom or working before getting into your new venture? Was it easy or difficult to make the transition?

Post our shift to Kuala Lumpur, I had already taken a break from work and then we were blessed with Ananya -my daughter. There was no room, time, and need for anything else. I used to take her to a play gym and there is where I found this studio which taught painting. I decided to give it a go while she played.

I painted my first painting- it was absolutely my first creation...  well second... And it gave me an immense sense of being. 

During the same time I even worked for an International company for a year but I realised that I was having much more fun painting and so I got back to it full time. I joined school for a course in Art. I went there for 2 years. The average age of the class was 17, but the teachers were great and I had an absolutely great time- learning and creating. It was like a second life- totally different from what I had done so far.

It was never really difficult as I took things at my pace and girls grow up very fast. At 7, Ananya already checks with me how many paintings I made and how many bags got sold.

What was the turning point when you decided to launch Indian Ocean?

No turning point as such, I just kept walking... 

A school mom bought my first painting. I was thrilled. I always thank her for that.

Luckily I found a studio close enough to my home and it gave me the space, confidence and Need to try more things. 

So what happened next?

One thing I was sure of was that I wanted to do something which was related to Art. Things which I will like to use/carry myself. The bags are an extension of my art as they carry prints of my painting and I even hand-paint some of them.

Luckily I found a great team to deliver them. I experimented with few bags, my friends liked them, and got some more, joined the bazaars, and went online. Things kept happening. Bags have also helped me to spread the word about my Art and lot of my clients visit my studio for them.

What is your core qualification? And is your venture related to that? If not, what learnings did you take from it to implement in your own business?

I am a commerce graduate from JMC DU and PGDBM from IMI Delhi. I believe everything is related so I am sure I am consciously or sub consciously am using what I learnt there. It might not be the studies per se; it could be learnings from the environment, friends, teachers anything. We learn continuously and we implement effortlessly.

Did you have any fears while starting your venture after a break/ salaried job? What were they? And how did you get over them?

Not really. I took it as a new phase in life something that gave me a chance to explore experiment and create. Moreover it suited my lifestyle and gave me time and flexibility. 

I did miss work a lot, especially when I met my old colleagues, but it really helped when they told me that they would any day trade work with what I was able to do with my time.

How do you manage your home and the venture?

I don’t take either too seriously... and that works!

Who/ what inspires you?

Learning... Thinking... Talking... Walking.. Seeing... Being Alive... 

One secret you would like to share which can make another Momtrepreneurs journey easier.

There will moments of self-doubt. There will be criticism. Don't be too sensitive. Show commitment and things will fall in place.

One business mantra you would like every Momtrepreneur to know?

Be professional, be receptive, be organised, maintain journal to record ideas, appointments, and money dealings. Follow up!

What's your vision for your venture?

My vision is for myself and not for my venture as such. The venture is a part of it. I want a multifaceted life which room for everyone. I want to create an ambience which promotes new ideas and encourages experimentation.

Your motto for yourself: 

Raah pakad tu ek chala chal, mil jayegi Madhushala.... 

(Stick to your path- you will find what you are looking for)

And 

Think! There must be a better way!

What’s your advice for someone who wants to do something different, but is unsure of taking the first step?

First of all take the first step... you will be 0nly 50% unsure of taking the second step- take the second step- you will be only 25% unsure this time... Taking steps is a progression of getting Sure!

Next Destination for Indian Ocean?

I want Indian Ocean to become even more International, and I want to learn Art in Paris. For me, the destination is to learn continuously, and create opportunities. Who knows, I may even give up painting and experiment in something else!! (Laughs)

Thanks Shailly for taking the time to chat with us- unplugged and for sharing your take on creativity, art, and Indian Ocean. We hope you keep adding colour to our life, our walls and our wardrobes, and more power to you!

Shailly is the Founder and Artist of Indian Ocean by Shailly.

She is currently based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

You can know more about her by visiting her pages below:

https://www.facebook.com/indianoceanbyshailly?pnref=lhc

http://indianoceanbyshailly.com/

Conversations with Momtrepreneurs....

As a Momtrepreneur, the best part of my life is getting to interact with many resourceful entrepreneurs, and exchange notes with them. I love listening to how passionate they are about their work, and their journey always intrigues me.

Today I had two conversations with 2 momtrepreneurs, and both left me energised.

The first Momtrepreneur was someone who I was interviewing for my series on this blog, “Interviews with Momtrepreneurs”. I usually send across a list of questions, which the person has to answer and write back. However, this momtrepreneur insisted that she wanted to talk to me.

As we spoke, she told me, how no pre-set list of questions would be able to capture the essence of her story. It’s important that you and I have a chat. That’s how you would be able to understand my journey better, and put it across in the best way possible to inspire many!

I paused, and was amazed at this idea. Why hadn’t I thought of this before? I loved the idea of a personal connect. We had an insightful conversation, and came away with tons of insights. Keep watching this space for a brilliant interview with this MBA turned artist!

My next meeting was with someone, who had reached out to me for inputs on Coaching and Facilitation. She was looking to reinvent her career from digital marketing. I didn’t know her personally, and had responded to her query on an expat forum. As I reached, I found a pleasant eager face, a 3 month baby in her arms, with loads of enthusiasm and questions about this field.

I loved the fact, that she wanted to spend more time with her kids (her toddler was at home with her helper), but at the same time was concerned with carving a niche for herself. She called herself the self-doubting type, but she seemed so sure of each question she asked. 

And as we discussed about Coaching, many related things, I came away inspired with her focus, and determination to move ahead.

We can all inspire each other, and these two women did just that to me. I came away with a changed perspective on myself, my business, and how I can approach my work. And I am sure that they didn’t intend to do any of that. But that’s the power of these interactions. And I am so grateful for them.

More Power to these and the many Momtrepreneurs around!