The 88th academy awards brought up many issues
about diversity. One of the points that host Chris Rock brought up was, “Why do
we have separate categories for men and women in acting? This is not track and
field”
It raises many questions. Would women not win as much? Are
we doing enough to create a level playing field for women and men?
But this post is not about the Oscars, or creating better
gender diversity. It is simply about what we can do as women to encourage each
other.
One of my favourite stories is from the book “Lean in” bySheryl Sandberg.
Imagine that career is
like a marathon- a long gruelling and ultimately rewarding endeavor. Now
imagine a marathon where men and women arrive equally fit and trained. The gun
goes off. The men and women run side by side. The male marathoners are
routinely cheered on. “Looking strong!” On your way!” But the female runners
hear a different message. “You know you don’t have to do this!” or “Good start-
but you probably won’t want to finish” The farther the marathoners run, the
louder the cries grow for men. But then women hear more and more doubts about
their efforts. As the women struggle to endure the rigors of the race, the
spectators shout, “Why are you running when your children need you at home?”
This is a powerful story, and true. But, not all the voices
that we hear come from men. A lot of them come from women. These are our well-wishers;
our mothers, sisters, friends and so on.
I see many discussions in Mom’s groups, where a woman will express
confusion about her dilemma in going back to work after maternity, and 90% of
the responses will be,” Stay at home with the kids. They need you.”
I have been on the receiving end of such advice and mostly
from women. Some advising me to take a part time job, or some telling me that I
could afford to stay at home, so I should. On the contrary, not one man
including my husband has ever told me that I shouldn’t go for what I want.
Let me add, there is nothing wrong in dropping out of any
race. Am I dropping out of it for lack of encouragement? Or an abundance of
discouragement? That is the issue at hand.
As women, we need to cheer each other. Remember the
marathon. Be a cheering spectator and say,
“Keep going, You can
do it”
As women we empathise with each other, and get how difficult
things are. But we still owe it to encourage each and every woman around to
keep going!
Say it loud and clear, and then say it some more.
Say it to your sister, mother, daughter, colleague, friend
as often as you can. They turn to you in moments of confusion for clarity. And
these may just be the six most important words that you can say to them.
And if they choose to drop out of the race, know that it was
a very difficult decision for them. Those six words will come to your rescue
once again.
“Keep going, You can
do it”
No matter what I choose as a woman, to know that I have
other women inspiring me, and encouraging me is powerful and cathartic.
So, the next time an amazing yet slightly unsure and scared
woman comes to you for advice. Hold back. She probably already knows what to
do, and only needs some encouragement.
Just tell her the story of the six most important words she
is going to hear from you!
“Keep going, You can
do it”!
